Pirates Vs Fairies Page 3

  "Then report back to me." The king added.

  Falkirk looked straight at the king and met his eyes; for Falkirk, all he could see was anger. For the king, he caught a glimpse of sadness inside Falkirk, the burden of knowing all there is to know.

  "I will do my best your majesty."

  "Thank you Falkirk, you have served this court excellently over the years."

  "Thank you, your majesty."

  Falkirk bowed and then turned towards the large wooden door that led out of the room, as he reached the heavy iron handle the king bellowed.

  "Oh." Came the rumble from the king's throat.

  Falkirk turned. "Yes?"

  "My step-daughter is missing, see if you can find her too."

  Then the king turned away, dismissing Falkirk, but more importantly to Falkirk, dismissing his step-daughter as nothing more than an after-thought.

  Chapter Seven of?.

  "Haargh-hargh!"

  The natural call of the pirates just didn't sound the same when it echoed around the captain's quarters with such beauty, like raindrops falling from the end of a rainbow.

  "No!" Bosun Bill sighed. "That sounded like raindrops falling from the end of a rainbow."

  Prince Purplerain shrugged. "I can't change how my voice sounds to pirates, no magic can do that." He sang.

  Bosun Bill returned to the heavy leather pirate manual that was opened on the chaise longue.

  "Try this," he said while reading. "Pieces-of-eight."

  Prince Purplerain took in a deep breath and his gleaming chest billowed under his large white shirt like a wonderfully perfect cushion.

  "Pieces-of-eight." He sang, like a bird calling the first tune of morning.

  Bill slapped his hand to his forehead. "This is not going to work, and try not to flap your wings when you breathe."

  "No." The prince agreed shyly, "that has been a problem of mine since I was small."

  Princess Caldora, sitting next to the large and aged book of piratical techniques, leant over and took a glance at the pages. As she touched the wrinkled and decaying paper it turned into a brand new book with gleaming paper that had just been opened and not read by anyone.

  "That's going to be another problem." Bill muttered as he watched his book glisten in purity then return to its haggard old state. "You can't touch anything."

  "It's funny," Princess Caldora chimed. "This doesn't happen at home, only out here where it's all smelly and disgusting."

  "This is not going to work." Bill moaned under his breath as he walked over to the porthole in the wall of the quarters and looked up at the sun.

  "We'll be at port soon, then we'll be in trouble if you get found out by the Port Authority."

  "How long do we have?" The prince chirped.

  "I don't know, not long. We'll know when Molly The Crow shouts land ahoy."

  Suddenly, from way up high came a shout that drifted in through the open porthole.

  "Land ahoy!"

  Silence filled the quarters, all three stood motionless, the only noise that came was from Bill, as he gulped nervously.

  "Right," Bill bellowed. "Here's the plan, you'll both have to wear gloves and hats and neither of you will be able to speak. Have you noticed that small slithers of light come out of your mouth with every word you say?"

  "No." Princess Caldora said and as she breathed out small slithers of light fell from her mouth and nostrils.

  "This is impossible. You'll never make pirates but you may pass yourselves off as us if you remain quiet."

  "Why can't we stay on board?" Prince Purplerain asked as if he were a choirboy singing a hymn.

  "The Port Authority search every boat that docks. If they find you they'll lock you up. The worse that could happen is being locked up by the Port Authority, they just don't have the same hygiene as us pirates."

  Princess Caldora and Prince Purplerain looked at each other and their eyes said it all, a pirate complaining about hygiene, whatever next.

  Bosun Bill flung open Capden Den's wardrobe and threw out two large black, boat-shaped hats, two large cloaks and two pairs of enormous leather gloves, clearly made for men with extremely large hands.

  "It's crude." Bill added. "But it will have to do."

  As the two fairies slipped their disguises on, Bill stood back to inspect them, looking them over as if he were a fashion designer checking his models. Bill could not help to notice how beautiful these two fairies were; their short-cropped blonde hair shone as if they were wearing a crown and their soft skin reminded him of milky tea. He looked down at his own tanned and wrinkled hands then inspected his face in the small mirror on Capden Den's table. Bill rubbed his brown face, leathery and beaten after years of being stung by the salty sea. His hair was moving further back towards the back of his head as if it were receding like the waves. He rubbed his portly belly and shook his head in disbelief.

  "I have bad feeling in the pit of my belly." He sighed.

  Prince Purplerain looked up through the brim of his hat at Bill and smiled.

  "Don't worry. This has all happened before."

  Grand Hippo Raz slumped her large bulk lazily on the beach, dreaming up at the clear blue sky. The gaggle of gossiping hippos across the sand, equally large though not quite so wise, were discussing Raz's strange behaviour that particular morning. They whispered to each other in their group, while every now and then glancing over to Raz's still body knowing that Grand Hippo Raz could hear every word.

  The all-seeing hippos of Hippo Lagoon knew everything, saw everything and listened to everything that went on in the world. Grand Hippo Raz was the greatest of them all; she spent all her days listening to the wind and the waves then blowing all that she had heard back into the wind for anyone to hear if they wanted to. As the hippos listened they would talk and the topic of conversation usually centred around the important things that were unfolding in their world, for they all felt the changes in the air that were about to take place.

  But the main focus of their gossip this morning was how Raz had perched herself on a rock that suddenly fell away, sending Raz and her hulking body hurtling into the cool water.

  They all noticed the look of sheer panic in Raz's eyes as the rock from beneath her dropped dramatically; some argued that if she were so wise then she would have known a long time previous that she was due to get a soaking; but Raz had been so lost in thought, that the sudden plunge into the cold sea of the lagoon really did wake her up and make her feel like a very silly hippo indeed. So she sat on her own and tried to lose herself in the thoughts that were carried in the soft breeze. For they all felt fear in the air and the fear was coming from the sea.

  Chapter Eight of?

  The Anna Stesia settled in at the dock of the Port Authority that was the main entrance to Pirate Bay. As Capden Den's crew threw ropes to moor the large galleon to the pier, Port Authority Officers tethered the boat to the bulbous brass anchors that lined both sides of the wooden pier. Capden Den cried out for his crew to come over so that he could go over the plan one final time.

  "Men," he boomed, before remembering that the Port Authority Officers may be listening.

  "Men," he repeated in more of a whisper. "We've got to all get off the Anna Stesia and this could be pretty dangerous. The two fair?the two new shipmates will come with me and Bill. Whiffy, you need to have a bath and mate here is going to get more supplies. Make sure you get plenty of bread it's a long way to?"

  "The Third Isle." Bill hurried in.

  "Indeed." Confirmed Den. "Does anyone have any questions?"

  All the pirates looked around at each other, then Molly the Crow stepped forward.

  "What happens if they notice that you have two fairies with you?"

  Capden Den sighed and waved his arms about in disbelief.

  "Always one isn't there, there's always someone who has to see the bad side to everything."

  "I was only asking." Molly said sheepishly.

  "Well it's a good question
to which I have no answer. Anything else?"

  The pirates all muttered and shook their heads.

  "Good, back here in two hours shipmates."

  The Double Doubloon was not the only bar along Pirate Bay but was the fashionable place for any pirate to go. Here deals were made, games were played, rows became tirades and nothing about it was staid. Nothing that is apart from the owner, Heirloom Harry, who was in fact a badger as well as being a former hedge-fund analyst. He really did not want to own a bar, he was after all a badger and liked the quiet life, he was also an accountant by heart and though that made him good with the cash till, he felt inside that he did not belong in a rough pirate bar along a stinky old pirate street set in the worst bay any person could ever wish to find themselves.

  So he stayed away and left his bar in the hands of the best barmaid that any bar in any bay in any world has ever seen, Sally; or more correctly, The Barmaid Formerly Known as Sally, as she was now known. Sally used to like being called Sally, until someone told her that Sally was the most common name for a barmaid and this made her mad. So she went and changed her name to Keith, but this didn't go down well with the pirates who came to the bar, so they all began referring to her as The Barmaid Formerly Known As Sally.

  The Barmaid Formerly Known As Sally stood behind the bar and polished glasses while she chatted to the hordes of horrible pirates who leant dreamily towards her, everyone loved Sally and they all wanted her to love them back. The pirates would gaze into her large brown eyes and would slip off into a dream about coming home to this beautiful woman who would have supper ready for them on the table with a tempting cake baking in the oven. Sally had that special something about her that made every person who met her want to change their lives and become a different person, a successful and clean living person; not a buccaneer sailing the seas and getting into trouble.

  Unfortunately, Sally had eyes for only one man and it just so happened to be the one man who hadn't fallen for her charms, Capden Den. When she saw him it made her dream of her having supper ready for him on the table and a tempting cake baking in the oven. Capden Den was different to all the other pirates, this either made him look silly or wonderful, and Sally thought he was wonderful.

  In the darkest corner of the bar, huddled around a table of their own, safely away from the rowdy crowd that filled the flaking walls, Capden Den and Bosun Bill sat either side of two heavily cloaked figures who wore large hats, had collars pulled up from their huge coats to cover their faces and had the most enormous hands you would ever wish to see.

  The two royal fairies beneath the coats kept as silent as mice and as still as statues. They hardly dared to breathe just in case something magical would pour out of their mouths and float like a wonderful beam of light across this dark, dingy and rather smelly old place.

  Capden Den sipped at his tankard of foaming fizzy cola; he held his burp in, releasing it through the corner of his mouth with hardly a sound so as not to attract attention.

  "Keep your heads down." Capden Den burped quietly to the two pirate imposters. They did not reply, but kept perfectly still. Not like the raucous rabble of rousing roughness that echoed around this inn of pirate depravity.

  "Capden?" Bosun Bill whispered in the ear of his captain.

  Capden Den turned slightly towards his bosun while also keeping an eye on the fairies.

  "Yes." He muttered back.

  "This plan of yours, it sounds good but we're pirates and the best way to blend into something is to do just that, blend in. For the fairies not to say a word and remain perfectly still goes against all that a pirate is. Pirates are by nature loud, boisterous, ready for action and full of song. They never sit in a bar quietly sipping at a glass of water."

  Bosun Bill had tried to explain this earlier while they were still on the ship, but Capden Den either chose not to take his advice, or could have burped when he was told so didn't hear the whole argument and made up in his own mind what Bill had actually said. Either way, Bill was nervous.

  Capden Den got up slowly and said, "I'll just go and have a quiet word with The Barmaid Formerly Known As Sally."

  Bill sighed as fear filled his eyes. His face fell and he anxiously began to look around the room. Then wished he hadn't, because as he did, his eyes fell on the fierce, raging and steely gaze of the one pirate he did not want to meet; the most feared pirate on the sea, the one man to whom Bosun Bill personally owed a debt, Dodgy Dave.

  Capden Den sidled up to Sally who fumbled with the towel she was using to wipe the glasses and then dropped it on the floor; something she always did when Capden Den sidled up to her in the way that he did.

  "Sally." He said.

  Her eyes widened and began to glisten as he said her name, for he was the only man she answered to in her former name.

  "Yes." She beamed as she tidied up her dark brown hair for him.

  "Do me a favour?"

  "Yes." She replied.

  "I need to get a letter off to somewhere, do you mind popping down to Alphabet Street and giving this in to the Pterodactyl Post Office?"

  Capden Den produced a small envelope from within his crumpled velvet coat pocket and on it was the address where this letter was to go, The Fairy Retreat.

  Sally saw the destination and then dropped the letter as she took it from his fingers.

  As she got up from behind the bar she whispered, "Why are you sending a letter there?"

  Capden Den glanced either side of him to check no one was listening, and then leant forward to speak into her ear.

  "I need to talk to you Sally, I could be in a bit of trouble, but it all feels so right. I need your help, will you help me?"

  Sally stared into Capden Den's pleading eyes and swam for a second in the gorgeous green swirl that stared back at her.

  "Always." She sighed.

  "Thank you, then take this when you finish your shift and get it sent." Den said to her as he pushed the letter across the bar to Sally.

  "Why can't you?" she asked, although she was quite happy to do it.

  "Do you not want to help?" Capden Den questioned.

  "Yes, but I need to know with what."

  Capden Den beckoned the alluring face of Sally forward with his finger and she leaned in to meet him, their noses almost touching.

  "Over there," Capden Den pointed without looking. "There are two fairies who I've picked up. They need to get to this retreat thingy and have asked me to take them."

  "They spoke to you?" Sally gasped.

  "Yes."

  "I always knew you were special." She gushed.

  Capden Den coughed.

  "Well," he said matter-of-factly. "I'm going to do it but I can't take them down to Alphabet Street and I couldn't leave them on the ship while the Port Authority check it over, so we'll just hold up here until the authority have finished their?whatever they do, and I can get them back on board."

  Sally looked over Capden Den's shoulder, briefly taking a moment to linger at the perfect roundness at the top of his arm, then glanced in the direction of the table where Bill and the two fairies sat.

  Then she gulped and her eyes widened with fear.

  "I think you should leave now." Sally muttered and pointed across his shoulder.

  Capden Den followed her gaze and saw Bill standing on tiptoes, trying to lift himself so that he was face to face with an angry Dodgy Dave. Meanwhile two of Dave's crew tugged at the large black coats of the fairies.

  "Oh blimey." He moaned. "I'll be back Sally, give me a minute."

  Capden Den winked as he darted over to where a fight was about to start and arrived just in time to stop Dodgy Dave punching Bill hard on the nose. He barged at Dave with his shoulder and sent him crashing on to the table, knocking the cola and water onto the hard floor with a crash.

  Someone in the bar shouted "fight!" Then the whole place suddenly fell quiet, Capden Den looked round to see more than sixty eyes all trained on him.

  He put his hands up to stop
them all from rushing at him.

  "It's alright everyone, I slipped, nothing to see here, nothing special about any of this, just an ordinary day with nothing happening, Dave and I are good mates."

  As he said that, Dave's broad and thick body got up behind Capden Den and loomed over the thin frame of the captain; then Dave's sturdy and meaty arm went up in the air and his enormous hand thumped Capden Den on the back of his head.

  Capden Den fell in a heap on the floor, as Bill, without thinking, lunged at Dave and they collapsed into a huddled fight on the ground. The two other pirates then grabbed at the cloaks covering the fairies and sent their disguises flying off into a corner of the bar.

  "Fairies!" One of the pirates screamed in panic and then all hell broke loose.

  In a flash, as the two fairies were revealed to the horde of pirates in the murky bar, a brilliant radiance filled the room that halted all the pirates in their tracks. A glow of light shone from the fairies beautiful auras and filled the bar with perfect love and light; for a couple of seconds all the pirates just stood in utter amazement and felt as if they could hug each other.

  Until Capden Den got up, dusted himself off then kicked Dodgy Dave painfully between the legs.

  Den then bent down to pick up the weakened body of Bosun Bill and began shouting.

  "No one comes near!" He roared. "Anyone who comes near will feel the full wrath of these two fairies."

  The two fairies stood proudly, trying to put a fierce look on their faces. The two pirates, who had revealed them, could not move; they were stunned into a scared silence.

  "We all know what a fairy is capable of and these two show no mercy!" Capden Den continued. "Let us go and there will be no more trouble."

  Dodgy Dave crawled over to join the angrily amazed mob that stood between Capden Den and the only way out and then got up with a slight wince of pain.

  "You'll have to get through us." Dodgy Dave yelled in his gruff and coarse voice.

  "No we won't." Capden Den smiled and he looked towards the two fairies that both nodded back.

  "If you fight us," Capden Den stated. "You will lose."

  Dodgy Dave's eyes winked wickedly, he stepped forward, drew his cutlass from its scabbard and prepared himself for a duel.